right now

status:

happy that am leaving...yet sad that i am happy... happy there is a new chance at life.. sad i needed it so desperately...maybe its the see saw of life -the that kinda balances it all...i wont sing jagged lil pill and be the next alanis..bt i know its late and i wanna tell someone how it feels...i dont want a sympathy sigh or a cheerful vision...i am fine with the way things are...but sometimes..like these times..it bothers me that i cant share. maybe its not all ok..maybe deep down i am scared...maybe somewhere i find it so impossible to believe that i dont even have the faith to be scared.....but at the end of it all ... it hurts...i am tired of burning my bridges...i am tired of not belonging....the bitch is ..i wont either for long...and yea am still happy coz i cant be sad. This is what i wanted.

T.I.L.

T.I.I....boy meets girl and girl meets boy..T.I.L. ....This is Life...and they'll meet one day ...and say i wish i knew you before...the wind whistles down the streets tonight and there are people dancing everywhere  in sight....its alright..its all alright...i just wish i knew you before...but time is still by your side..we'll meet someday and say i wish i knew u before....

and songs get louder and better with each time....and we wake up in the morning singing i think i knew u before.....

the songs get louder each time...and time is still by your side...i just wish i knew u in sometime else....the songs of life get better each time...i wish i know u then....dancing to the song of life ...am glad u danced this dance with me...i wish to dance this song through....T.I.I or just T.I.L ..... 

transient

I think of you and i remember the first rain...the smell of fresh mud, whispered murmurings of sweet nothigs, i see the warm sun, blue skies, rustling leaves against a cool breeze, everything that is impossibly beautiful, everything that is so you... laughter..so much laughter, your twinkling eyes and a dimpled smile... the breathtaking scent of every flower..i hear that every heartbeat i skip when i see you..i cant even say how it feels....it just feels complete...its a feeling of life breathing through me, its the feeling of pure joy...and how do i live each day knowing that  its all transcient? its illogical....irrational but i miss you as i lie beside you...or maybe its the fear..the fear of knowing it's all transient. 

and yet as i read through this again....well .... danke.

noddy

to this day ...the word love , for me, feels without all definition...maybe i generalize it too much..maybe its a classified selective term...like a reference to context thing...but i honestly know..there are very few people, very few beings that can make that definition easy for one. Noddy makes it complete for me. I know it sounds corny or plain mushy or some pink bubble- gum wrapped thought but..i feel that complete love when i see him. he's my dog, our dog, a small, adorable, highly restless, excessively loving amazing creature..he defines pure, innocence, playfulness, love, adoration..everything that is so wonderful in this world. n i was never a sucker for such, but he made me one...he's won me over with everything he does,...from grabbing my trousers and slippers and dragging me all over the house to following around like a besotted worshiper to sitting beside me and staring with his huuuge adoring irrestible eyes, cocking his head onto one side and looking completely lost..to greedily jumping at every food he'd see in my hands..to just lying beside me and snugly curl up...nudging, licking, chewing, sulking and making funny sad noises to display his madness..i love him so...from the tip of his flat fat nose to the end of his glorious curled up 'jalebee'. i miss u noddoo and i wish i could keep u next to me.

perception

Anekāntavāda (Devanagari: अनेकान्तवाद) is one of the most important and fundamental doctrines of Jainism. It refers to the principles of pluralism and multiplicity of viewpoints, the notion that truth and reality are perceived differently from diverse points of view, and that no single point of view is the complete truth.

embrace

How did i ever find u?

i thank my destiny

You descended on the abyss

as gently and slowly

like the moon descends into a still river

You caressed me like the warm sun

should i stand and marvel at your beauty

or be lost within your words?

you are my peace

you are my passion

The lands might change

The Rivers might change their ways

Life might play a different song

Times shall alter their course

But i shall remain

forever, the same way

In your sweet embrace

For every moment and always.

okkk..so this song was playing all through while i painted this...basically the song inspired the painting as corny as it sounds :)..but i like corny these days :D

sugar coated nothings

Hmm..so a lot of honey coated sugar nothings have been said on this blog before...my long absenses are not to due to the fact that i was busy or that i was out of enough to say..it was merely the fact that i was not in that big happy place to make time and space for twittering birds and blue skies..considering the fact that over time my absenses have grown longer and the posts shorter one mite be compelled to think hat the happy place is shrinking..i, on the other hand, know my patience for that imaginary world is wearing thinner by the day..cyptic messages and seeing rainbows is an interesting past time granted...but to sometimes having an honest bland conversation is a more soothing reality.